Michael Bay diarrhea
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
