I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
