Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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