do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
