I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
