Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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