I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize