did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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