she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
