there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
