Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
