atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Randomize
