I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
