I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
