You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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