Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Randomize
