Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
you never un-have a 4some
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
