goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
