you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
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