I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
