so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
