hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
