I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
