And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
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