he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
