p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
