just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
