It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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