went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
