Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Houston, we have a squirter
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
