YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
