I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
