What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
