So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
