Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
