im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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