What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
