so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
