I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
