All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
