Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Randomize
