got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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