Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
