Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
