I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
