a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
You're like the curious george of whores
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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