Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
