I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
