I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
