I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Randomize
